The Smart Phone
I remember the day when a phone rang loudly and obnoxiously. It was attached to the wall with a cord, and it would only go so far so you sat near it. Then these crazy things came out. Cordless phones for your house. They did not need a wire. WOW! Still you had to be in the house, or at least within range of the base of the phone. I was in grade school when my mom and dad bought their first cell phone. They called it a car phone. It kind of resembled a box of saltine crackers, and took two hands to hold it (exaggeration, but not by much). Can you remember when a phone was actually used for calling? Those were the good old days! You went somewhere and nobody knew where you were until you returned. Now we all have Smart Phones. Well, almost everyone.
What does it mean by Smart Phone? Well, let me look at mine. It has:
Phone, Text, Email (3 different ones) Calendar, My Music List, Sermons, Podcast, Fitness Tracker, Ringtones, Fox News, Internet, Google, ESPN, WWE Channel, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Live TV, Hulu, Netflix, My Bible, Messenger, Camera, 468 Pictures, 12 Video’s, Kindle, Audio Books, Budget Tracker, Checkbook, SnapChat, Emoticons, Angry Birds, (3 different ones), TWO, (not 1) but 2 Weather Channels, Compass, Calculator, Alarm Clock, Timers, Flashlight, iTunes Store, Stocks, Keynote, Pages, Garage Band, Brain Teasers, Numbers, Picture Layout, PayPal, it even has GPS, and the list goes on and on. And that is just some of the stuff, I know it can do. I am truly not smart enough for a smart phone, so many of it’s capabilities are beyond my skill level. But, this morning, I found out there are other things it can do, and it took me back a little.
While showing my wife a picture on Instagram of a trappers take, she reached and took the phone from my hand into hers, no big deal right? Wrong, I almost grabbed it back. That little device made my heart skip a beat. I took the phone back and thought, what is wrong with you? I got dressed and headed to the church for the 40 days of prayer, (I noticed I did not see you there this morning). Moving on! I kept meditating on it. Why, with nothing to hide, did my heart skip a beat when someone else, not just someone, my wife of 20 years had my phone? Why did that happen? I quickly began to make excuses. It is because I am a pastor, and my life is out there for all the world to see. I am constantly on call and display, and that is why I am sensitive. That must be it. After further thought and prayer, I began to realize, that has nothing to do with it at all. Trying to hide something doesn’t come into play either. What does come into play is this: My whole life is in that Smart Phone, not just the apps, not just the pictures, notes, messages, memories, but my emotions. Yep, my emotions. For a brief second, subconsciously I felt I was exposed. I wasn’t safe. All of that steams from my past, having to protect myself. But why would that have jumped up with my wife holding my phone? Not because she might find something, not because my life is exposed, but because deep down, I still have trust issues letting go of all my life, and if I am willing to admit it, even to God. Those places in my life, where hurt, scars and damage are, they lashed back out. Think about those places, that you want to forget, you want to never come back, the places and things you have pushed down, buried, and want to stay that way. They won’t, not until they are settled. Jesus said it is finished, yet sometimes, I refuse to let it be. This morning, I am ashamed to admit was one of those times. My Smart Phone, triggered an emotional reaction from years ago, fear for a brief second. I know I have been long winded, so let me close with this.
The Smart Phone? Yea, mine really is, it revealed places and things in me that I thought were gone. Maybe I should add counseling to its list of things it can do. Remember, its never to late to let go of things and let Father destroy them once and for all.
Sometimes too honest, blessings